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2005-10-08 - 12:17 a.m. I'm starting to regress. I'm so down right now and I don't even really know why. It's just all falling apart so quickly. I mean this is it. My part in the crew is pretty much over. I mean sure I'll see you guys on holidays and whatever but really. You have your lives and I have mine. There's really no getting around that fact. I thought I could keep up with it. I really wanted to. But I just can't. Life has popped up and slapped me in the face and shown me it's true nature. Life is cold and it is hard. And it doesn't stop for anyone. I'm sorry for any hurt I caused. I truly am. I miss you all truth be told. I mean sure I talk about how kick ass it is out here and it is, but I would give anything to just hang out with one of you for a bit. These people out here don't know me like you do. I have so much fun with them then I realize I don't know anything about these people. I barely even remember their names. I feel like I've been a very bad person. I like there's been so much that has come my way and I've neglected everyone around me on my trip there. For that I will be eternally sorry. I was completely ripped apart tonight by someone I thought to be a close friend. And the sad thing is that mother fucking ex-head might have been right. I just don't know anymore. I just wish it was summer again and I didn't have to worry about anything. I wish I didn't have to think about how she's now my EX-girlfriend and how I've just thrown all these relationships out the window. I miss you so much. I'm just really fucking lonely out here. And I guess in a very round about way of saying this, I think my time rapidly drawing to a close for the weekend-crew chronicles. I won't go all melodramatic (ok yeah too late for that) but yeah I think that's. You all take care of yourselfs wherever life takes you. I'm sure I'll see you someday. |
