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2004-11-09 - 9:10 p.m.
freeze

sometimes i feel like a zombie. going through every motion and not even taking in what is going on around me, obliviouse. It's not really because thats the way i am, but because of everything that has been happening lately, between the play and school, there just doesn't seem to be time for much else. Even social events seem to be a desperate attempt to be doing something "else". socializing beause it's important to know that i socialize.

It makes me appreciate when i have time to enjoy things fully. that is why i am looking forward to this brunch. I feel like i havn't really had time to appreciate all my friends this year. To just sit back and have conversations where we're not all talking at once, or making fun of eachother ( even if it is good-natured). The thought of unknowing people is frightening. the fact that it's happens is so easily hidden by exceess energy or banter.

I don't mean that i am dwelling on the past, or wishing everything was like last year. I really don't. I am just worried that time has stopped. That i am not moving forward or backwards. and that we've become so wrapped up in everything else that we aren't enjoying eachother, and really, this might be the last year we have to do that.

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