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2004-10-30 - 7:51 p.m. each day we look at eachother and see something wonderful. something beautiful and one of a kind that is not here by chance but by design? something inexplicable. A great broiling mass of atoms that serves no purpose nor function. That simply takes up space? or something dark and mysteriouse. A glowing well disguised in a harmless case? i sit and something inside of me screams for understanding and love. Something inside of me wants contact with the outside, to connect. i sit and something inside me breaks when i see something beautiful. so beautiful that it hurts, a leaf against the pavement, the glint of sun on a clear day. i want to share that feeling of pure joy with whoever is nearest. something inside of us is pure and good and wonderful and craves to be understood. theres something else. something that is fearful and frightened and cringes when touched. something that would like to take this beautiful part and hide it away, because to share it would be to lose, or risk losing. it beats it down and brings those bad weeks. the ones where you want to cry for no reason, when every pore in your body hurts and you want to sleep forever. when peoples good intentions make you want to scream. when you feel like an animal in the circuse, always putting on a show. but when the beautiful thing shows through, it's all worth it. you can bare those long cold weeks for the moment of joy. |
