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2010-02-21 - 7:10 p.m. Reading week has somehow come and gone...and despite my dedication and stubborn will to get all of my work done, I still have so much to do. Rehearsals begin this week, which is unbelievably exciting...but also unbelievably daunting. I've now survived three semesters of the 8am-10pm schedule, and yet this time I am worried I will not make it. I feel like there is so much riding on me this semester. I have done well academically so far, but I feel everything slipping uncomfortably out of reach right now. I am some how the most and least focused I have ever been. I want it more badly than I ever have, and I am determined to prove to myself that somehow I have it in me to be an actor...but at the same time I am trying to learn to let go of my control, and accept failure when it happens. I am teetering from one extreme to the next, and right now I am not sure where I stand. I need to just bite my lip, dig my heels in and run as fast as I can head first into these last two months. I know I will regret it if I don't. |
