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2005-06-07 - 6:58 p.m.
Terrible, terrible day.

Really shitty day. Like REALLY REALLY shitty.
I am every kind of sick you can possibly be at once. I have nausea, incessant congestion, headaches... you name it. I wanted to pass out all day.
And now, my step grandmother is in the hospital, on her deathbed with a tumor in her brain.
I barely know her, but my stepdad and my mom both love her immensely. And even though she's very stubborn and set in her ways, she accepted my sister and I very readily into her family and that meant a lot to us. My stepdad's father died when he was three, and she raised him all by herself. I don't even know how he's going to handle it when she dies.
She's never been anything but kind to me and now I am really, really wishing I hadn't pissed these last four years up the wall, and had actually tried to get to know her. I know she probably could have taught me a lot and I regret how little effort I have made.
It's unfortunately too late now. She's losing her memory fast and I bet she doesn't know who I am anymore.
Death hasn't been this close to my life in years and it is a very surreal feeling.

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