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2005-05-14 - 3:58 a.m. All the terrible, unspeakable things that I have done in secret are starting to haunt me...and I dont know why. Men killing themselves, broken hearts, hopes shattered, lives altered, futures made so uncertain where before they had seemed fated... And the memories of walking through the night, through dark streets, playing chords to songs of my own sorrow... my own heartache, my own death, my own altered future... all to end up sitting atop the hospital parkade, watching patience move in and out of the place where I was born. Walking to the corner and lighting cigarettes, little dots of light on the ground... Remembering falling asleep beneath a tree and waking up alone, with the stars still in the sky... feeling lost and found and screaming out questions to a sky I was sure could hear me. To people a thousand-thousand miles away. And tomorow I will float across the ocean in the morning light, watch the islands jutting out of the water like mountains, and the fog across trees that no one has ever touched before. And I will arrive at the place I have been to so many times before, the place that I hate but am forced to love... Fall asleep. |
